Sophie: Mom you're mean.
Mommy: I know. I'm a real monster.
S: No, you are not a monster.
M: I know. I'm a dragon.
S: No you aren't. You don't turn into anything when you go to sleep. You are a people.
M: What?! You mean I'm not a troll?
S: No, you are a people.
M: What about a vampire? Are you sure I'm not a vampire?
S: I hate vampires. And I hate bugs. Your mommy says I can hate bugs if I want to. So it's ok for me to say I hate bugs.
Sophie: Mommy, Grammy got me sunglasses. I have to wear them so they protect my eyes from cataracts.
Sophie: I want Mommy to have 10 babies!
Grammy: You are a good big sister!
S: Grammy, I don't want 10 babies. I want 11!
Sophie: Mom did you know cars have eyelashes?
Sophie: Yeah, they go up and down.
Mom: What is she talking about Brian?
Dad: She's talking about the windshield wipers.
Sophie: Mom, Connor pooped!
Mom: No honey I checked him. There is no poop.
Sophie: But he's stinky.
Mom: Maybe it's from last time he pooped. I just changed his diaper.
Sophie: Or maybe Connor's butt is just stinky.